The Luke and Posey Show

It was just a matter of time before a major recording artist recorded a song using many of the popular “Web 2.0” brand names and lingo. Unfortunately for that major recording artist, this 3rd-rate comedy podcast did it first. And quite well, I might add. Thanks Bucko.

Romance 2.0 [ 3:37 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Here are the lyrics, with corresponding links, in case you don’t know wtf is going on.

Romance 2.0

VERSE:
Girl, I can’t shut my googly eyes,
You’re so fine I can’t help but look.

And imagine your hand, grabbing my d*ck like a pen,
and writing all in your face book.

CHORUS:
Girl you know I dig you
Cause you’re so delicious
Wanna stumble upon you
While you’re doing the dishes

Gonna turn you around
and stick it in, ya-hoo
I’m makin a mess in
Your kitchen and your cooch

PHONE:
P:Hello?
L:Hey, you know that girl you poked last week?
P:Yeah?
L:I’m thinking of poking her later, got any suggestions?
P:I know one thing that gets her all a-twitter…
L:Oh yeah? What’s that?
P:Flick ‘er nipple.
L:Flick ‘er nipple?
P:Flick ‘er nipple.
L:Thanks dude. Ya know, you’re one of my, like, top 8 friends.

VERSE:
Girl, I must confess,
You might say “You too big”
But I assure you there’s no need to fret it.

You just relax your throat
You can trust me, because I wrote
The Book of Love and then I went and I read it.

Poo Fighters [ 4:10 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Posey is a genius. But don’t take our word for it, check out some reviews of his latest Foo Fighters cover.

“Posey is a genius, a got-dam genius” — Rolling Stone
“Reminds me of a severely constipated Dave Grohl” — Spin
“I would be laughing my ass off, if I could feel my testicles. Wait, what?” — Dave Grohl

Oh Oh Oh [ 6:40 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Those 3 words every woman longs to scream… and you will never want to hear again.

I Love My Women [ 1:58 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

If you didn’t know, Posey is a man who can’t be tied down to a single woman. No, it’s either all or none for this guy. The following poem, set to killer keyboards, says it all.

Specifically, the “Bob & Tom Comedy All-Stars” tour that just came through Shreveport, LA, rocked. And your beloved heroes know this… how? I told you, we rock.

If you’re not familiar, The Bob & Tom Show is a nationally syndicated morning comedy radio show. They sponsor a massive tour starring various “headliner” comedians all over the country.

Yeah, that’s right. While you were sitting there at home, waiting for a new L&P show for the last 2 months, totally NOT laughing… here we were gallivanting around, rubbing the elbows of semi-celebrities, laughing all the way, and not even at our own jokes. If we were you, we would be furious. But we’re not you, and we know that makes you sad. Man, you are so depressed, and so angry! Glad we’re not your government-appointed psychiatrist.

But back to the matter at hand, frownie. You know us mostly as hilarious, kick-ass, slacker dudes, but in reality we are skilled inventors. The video below of Bob & Tom sports director Chick McGee was captured using Posey’s patented “Flower-Cam”. The product should explain itself:

Episode 25 [ 0:50 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Check it out, Greg Hahn‘s a huge fan! He totally asked for a group picture of us autographing his belly, but we had people to see and, honestly, he was starting to creep us out.

So… about the picture quality. Our Canon “Mach XXXVII” is in the shop, so we had to bring the ol’ Polaroid FunMate 320BW. Which, and if you’re familiar with the model you know this, prints pictures on tiny 2 cm x 3 cm stickers. Luke carefully placed them on his mustache for safe-keeping as the night went on, and when he got home, he used an overhead projector and carbon paper to burn them up on the page here. He’s sort of a technographical genious.
We snapped several more pictures, but we didn’t think you’d want to see them… Luke just had to have nachos, so the only 2 that survived were on the corners of his mouth. If you really want to see Nick Griffin with cheese all over his face, let us know. On second thought, don’t.

When the night was through, Luke & Posey left the Strand Theatre skipping and giggling like schoolchildren who have yet to learn the world is out to destroy them. It felt almost… human.

For seriously though, thanks so much to Chick McGee, Donnie Baker, Nick Griffin, Patti Vasquez, Ralph Harris, Greg Hahn, Bob & Tom, Kristi Lee, and the entire Friggemall operation. You guys rock.

Dumbassery, douchebombs, and fucknuts rule the day as Luke and Posey, apparently out of things to talk about, create their own words. We also consult the urban dictionary for definitions of our very own names, share tips on attracting mates and not mosquitoes, and explain why fur + moisture = not near as fun as it sounds. Have fun kids, and remember! Clean yourself up down there.

Episode 25 [ 35:59 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

House Party [ 1:59 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

YO. Wanna peep how it iz to party wit da one and only Po-Funk? Check it.
Wheat Cracka out.

No, wheel-watchers, today’s show title was not the answer to the “Before and After” puzzle on the Wheel of Fortune episode I just watched. That wouldn’t make sense. But I’ll tell ya what does make sense: Potato Power Plants! Think about it people! You can bury those suckers forever! And the kids can just plug their crude light bulbs directly into the grid! SHHH! Still waiting on the patent. Do NOT fuck me on this.
WOW, that had nothing to do with this show. Well, I guess it did demonstrate the random idiocy that one might expect in a show such as this, and how it can eventually take over a well thought-out plan to accomplish something. Goddammit! Fuck it. Happy holiday season! Merry new car!

Episode 24 [ 23:24 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Luke And Posey Xmas [ 2:56 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It’s the perfect gift! ORDER NOW!

Wanna know what happens when Santa Claus passes over this redneck’s homestead? Well clean out yer ears, boy! LOOKIT!

Reindeer Stew [ 0:48 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Hey RadioMall and Soundsnap, we pershunate ya.